Top 10 Honest Job Ads

Imposter syndrome

Your worst fears are likely correct–you are an imposter and have no idea what you’re doing…But, What the hell–apply anyway #HonestJobAd

— Professor Jaded (@ProfessorJaded) August 2, 2014

Yeah, we lied

Everything we said up until you said yes and signed your acceptance letter was greatly exaggerated or an outright lie. #HonestJobAd

— Associate Deans (@ass_deans) August 2, 2014

Conflicts of interest

We don’t have discipline or methodological divides. All our conflict is derived from personal hatred. #HonestJobAd

— Worse Reviewer (@Worse_Reviewer) July 31, 2014

Family matters

We are supportive of families as long as you’re not a woman and planning on starting one #HonestJobAd

— Kathleen Searles (@kesearles) July 31, 2014

We are very supportive of families, as long as they don’t get in the way of unreasonable demands on your time. #HonestJobAd

— I. Shono Marcee (@SarcasticMethod) July 31, 2014

Travel budget

Our travel budget includes one night in sleeping your car near the conference hotel and TWO granola bars, you pay for parking #HonestJobAd

— Kathleen Searles (@kesearles) July 31, 2014

AltAc

Our last assistant professor left to start a bakery. #HonestJobAd

— Worse Reviewer (@Worse_Reviewer) July 31, 2014

Because coffee fixes everything

#HonestJobAd We’re a pit of sociopathic vipers. But we have an espresso machine.

— Kevin Gannon (@TheTattooedProf) July 31, 2014

Adjunct adversaries

You’re going to lose to a starving adjunct who’s been here for two decades, but sure–we can help you practice interviewing #HonestJobAd

— Professor Jaded (@ProfessorJaded) August 1, 2014

Work-life balance

We pay lip-service to work-life balance issues. Your work is your life in this department. 80 hrs/week is for slackers. #HonestJobAd

— Andrew Robinson (@AndrewR_Physics) August 1, 2014

3-in-1

This position actually used to be three different positions #HonestJobAd

— Brian (@elsrbrown) July 31, 2014